Birthday Trifecta

My little buddy, “Slippery Willie”, has had a fine week meeting new friends as he travels around on his book tour. He has received some awesome reviews and all is “good” with him. So, being he is so busy, I will have to attend the “Brithday Trifecta” without him. Yup, the stars have aligned and for some reason tomorrow, in one house, there will be three different birthday parties at the same time. My grandson ,Tyler, will be four, my grandaughter,Theresa, will be nine, and my oldest son, “Little Ricky”, will be over the hill. (What does he need a party for anyway?)

Actually, he is in freak out mode. Why? He has moved on to the BIG FOUR OH—OH NO. So he has been feverishly working out, jogging three miles a day, lifting weights and doing whatever else he can do to make himself escape reality. He even buys that powdered protein stuff and eats egg whites. (And he wonders why he is suddenly finds himself living alone) I say—THANK YOU SON—because there is no problem for me in picking out a gift for him. Simple—two dozen eggs and a couple of cans of room deodorizer. He’ ll be good to go.

Tyler, well, he is four. I learned a long time ago that kids that age are more thrilled with the boxes that the useless toys come in than the toys themselves. So, I have visited the local public storage facility and bought two cardboard boxes that cost me six bucks. He’ll be happy as a little clam especially when I give him the three dollar LED flashlight I bought in the dollar store. He’ll be able to sit inside those boxes until the batteries burn out.

Now comes Theresa, age nine, almost a woman. I can tell because she has some kind of funky coloring on her lips and her nails are decorated in contemporary, multi-colored, swirls which I believe she did herself because she “knows best”. She is the most expensive to buy for. I’ll probably get her a $20.00 gift card to “Farmville” or something like that.

Interesting part of this is that this event has been planned by my youngest, my daughter, Mary, who in her quest to be efficient and be expert in time management techniques, has ordered one sheet cake with the three names on it. Well, we’ll see. I wonder if we all get three pieces of cake and three scoops of ice cream each. I hope so.

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