The Reverse Rage of Madame Maureen Dowd

I just happened to read  Ms. Maureen Dowd’s column in the Tampa Bay Times (reprinted from the New York Times on 8/22/12) in which she informs the proletariat (you know, all the un-Ivy-Leagued) that Congressman Paul Ryan is not who we thought he was. No sirreee, in fact she has gotten her information from none other than Tom Morello. This has to be factual and intelligent information because this guy is a Grammy winner, a guitarist, a member of the metal rap band, “Rage Against the Machine” and  the ultimate proof of his being part of the creme de la creme, he is a Harvard graduate.

Before I read Madame Dowd’s column I had this whacked out notion that Paul Ryan, a man who might become our Vice-president, was a 42 year old married man, with three small kids, was a practicing catholic, and still lived in the town where he was born, Janesville, Wisconsin. It seems that every Thursday, after work as a Congressman, he heads home to Wisconsin to be with his family. (That should have given me a clue that something was up, right? He does not hang around D.C.) He is also (from what I was informed by the mundane media) very smart and wants to fix Medicare for FUTURE generations. Mr. Morello, through Madame Dowd, has set me straight. There is another person hiding out in Paul Ryan’s body.  Here it is. Better get ready.

Seems our friend Mr. Morello wrote an essay for Rolling Stone Magazine and told us the “truth” about Paul Ryan. Since Madame Dowd has this ongoing need to find her own personal gospel writers, she has now included Tom Morello on her list of chosen writers of ex-cathedra doctrinaires. Mr. Morello advises us that “Paul Ryan is the embodiment of the machine that our music has been raging about for two decades. I  CLEARLY SEE, Morello writes,  that Ryan has a whole lotta ‘rage’ in him. A rage against women. A rage against immigrants, a rage against workers, a rage against gays, a rage against the poor, a rage against the environment. The only thing he is not raging against is the priviliged elite he’s groveling in front of for campaign contributions.”  WHEW !!!! Maybe his wife should consider having a restraining order issued against him. According to these folks, he is one “raging dude”.

Well, I had no idea. I never suspected that Paul Ryan was such a scary person. Madame Dowd’s final sentence in her column reads, “Beyond the even-keeled Ryan mien lurks full-tilt virulence. A moderate demeanor is not a sign of a moderate view of the world”. “Full-tilt VIRULENCE”??  That means being venomously hostile or causing disease. WHATEVER, Madame Dowd, whatever. I will not even touch on the other parts in the column about Nicaragua and Angola and the idiot in Missouri, Akin, who stuck his foot so far down his throat you could hear the gagging from coast to coast, or the shot at the Catholic bishops  or quoting the Jesuits to disparage Ryan or his parish priest suggesting that he might allow kids to starve to death.

Thank God Cardinal Dolan is coming to the Republican Convention. Maybe he can get hold of his friend Ryan, bring him in a room, and do an excorcism on him before the rage in him causes him to self-immolate.

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